by Paula Blonski
June, 2002
The number one comment I hear from ARDS survivors is that they are afraid to reach out to me, to talk to me out of fear. They think I would be resentful that they survived, and that my 36-year-old sister, Marybeth did not. I thought it was important to talk about this subject, to let all the survivors know how I feel. I cannot speak for all those who lost loved ones, but I know how I personally feel.
When I first lost my sister to ARDS, I was lost confused and extremely sad. I did not know and could not comprehend what ARDS was and why it took my sister. I needed to know more, to get information, so I went looking. Eileen Zacharias, the President of the foundation was the first survivor I met. I have to admit, before I met her, I was not sure how I would feel when I met her. Would I be resentful that she survived and Marybeth had not? I honestly was not sure. The answer came quickly when we met. NO, I would not be resentful, but rather hopeful. Sure I will always have the thoughts of why didn’t Marybeth survive and others have? Even though I have these feelings, my feelings are of sadness, not resentfulness.
Eileen and all the other survivors I have met bring hope: hope of more survivors, much-needed information, and the promise that Marybeth’s death was not in vein. Survivors hold answers, answers that need to be heard so that ARDS will someday be something that can be survived by all, which is ultimately all of our hope.
I want survivors to know that it is OK to reach out to those that have lost loved ones. We can offer valuable information as well. We were there when our loved ones were going through the hardest part of ARDS. We can offer insight into what was happening when someone is in the drug-induced coma, we can offer insight what it was like to have the various tests run, and in return, you can offer us hope. Hope that maybe with the knowledge you hold as a survivor, someone else will not have to endure the pain of losing a loved one, as we did.
